40 Begins

Well the day has arrived! the long awaited big 4-0.  I don't know what the big deal is? but somehow I can't help but think 40 is a big deal.  As much as I try to pretend that it's just another Birthday I can't seem to shake the feelings of anticipation, sadness. fear and expectancy.  What a mixed bag of emotions I can feel.  If I search deep inside  I will find that I am sad, sad that my life is probably half over(although you never know) That inside I have so many dreams that have not been fulfilled. That some of the best times in my life have passed and all that is left is a memory.

However I can't help but hope for 40 to be a year that some of my long awaited dreams will begin to unlock.  That this will be year that I will look back on with great delight! because of all the great memories that will occur.

So to celebrate my 40th my thoughtful husband Steve, thought he would arrange for me and him to go on a road trip.  He gave me the keys and said lets just drive and see where we end up.  Total freedom to drive to where I want and no need to return until the next day! wow I can't remember the last time I could do that.  I have alway's been a free spirit, but after having three kids I have been more tied down then ever.  So off we went!

At first I found myself turning down a fimilar road. I went the route that I was used to going for the past  so many years. Was I afraid to try another route?Maybe it was time to go down an unfamiliar route?

Coming up to crossroads I stopped and hesitated to go forward and wondered which way was the best way to go? how many times in life do I stop and get stuck at a crossroad.  Sometimes you just have to make a choice of direction and go! and so I did I chose to turn.  After taking a long scenic tour I ended up in a big circle.  Hmm  there is something to be said about knowing where you are going because you can take a long road to go a short distance.  On the flip side  I would of missed being on a road I have never travelled before and the adventure of it all!  

A little gem on the off beaten path

Onward we go! by this time Me and my navigator are getting pretty hungry, since I had one plan and that was to stop at one of my favorite resturant's for breakfast.  Hungerly we drove up but only to find it closed.  This was the first disappointment of the day, but not the last!

What do you mean it's closed It's my birthday

So continuing on we tried another restaurant that I loved and it too was closed.  So at the point of starving to death we stopped at the nearest pizza place and grabbed a slice. A little different then what I had thought but hey we are going with the flow.

My Navigator Steve giving me full control of the wheel was silent alot but still had a few things to say about getting places.  I realized Steve has a good sense of direction and is needed at times.

So we carried on and saw more scenery along the way. There was a really rare bird that had made a huge nest.  Not sure what it is but kinda cool to capture on camera.

hello strange hawk bird

 Our tour took us up to a small city which we thought we would hang out in and stay the night.  We got out and toured a bit and again to our surprise almost everything was closed. We were able to go to one cool art store and bring some encouragement to a much needed lady. This day wasn't going as planned but wait a minute I didn't have a plan? or did I?

So after exploring the small city a bit we decided to drive somewhere else.  Yes the ride was scenic again but by this point I was looking for some kind of destination to stop at, some kind of purpose to all this driving,  The next place we went to was even less exciting and so we thought we would go back to the small city again and find a place to stay.  Once again to our surprise there was only one really nice place to stay in and it was way out of our price range.  So unsure what to do we started our drive back home.

There was one more place I thought of that I would like to stay at and so we drove up to it to only find a big iron fence surrounding it with a big sign saying closed due to renovations! Another closed door! So we went for dinner and a movie and back to our own bed and three kids!

So what does all this mean? I don't know! maybe it's good to have a plan! Maybe I am not the same person I was when I was 20 and just flew by the seat of my pants.   Maybe there really is more freedom in knowing where you're going than not? As much as I didn't want to have an expectation for the day.  The truth was I did, I did have plans in my heart that I wanted to happen.  Is it wrong to have expectations? I don't think so, as long as we can let go when things may not go as we expected.